Dear new (obviously very young) female neighbor,

It would be greatly appreciated if you could NOT clomp back and forth along the length of your apartment in your tap shoes, or whatever the heck they are, and throw things at the wall for 20 minutes when you return home at 4:30 am in the morning. While it was equally annoying when you did it Friday night, we were willing to give you benefit of the doubt, seeing as you are young and it was the weekend. However, this is completely unacceptable behavior for a Tuesday night, and will not be tolerated again. Also, your taste in music is absolutely atrocious. So, if you proceed with this behavior, I will be forced to blare bluegrass music (which I sure you have no taste for) at 8am in the morning, when I am sure you have recently entered your first round of deep sleep. As we are next to you and not below you, I'm sure you have tortured poor Andy even more than you have us, and I hope he gives you an ear full.

Sincerely,
your old and crotchety neighbors