back ...maybe

i'm hoping to come back to this space to document graham's birth and to ruminate on the struggles we've been having with breastfeeding.  pretty much for my own edification only, especially because i'm sure no one is still keeping tabs on this blog.

i dream of the day when i will like my job.

2009 has come, gone and left me a little worse for wear

at this time last year i was laying out a plan to see 2009 as my great year for contemplation and rejuvenation. HA! while i was finally escorted out of the situation of misery and paranoia that was the better part of 2009, it still does a great job of coloring my view of the past year as well as a number of plans for my future. my experiences in 2009 have culled any desire i ever had to remain a part of academia. I will not be returning to the ivory tower any time soon, i think. All in all, I am mostly just glad this phase of my life has come to a close. In a different environment it might have been different, but as doris day will tell you, "que sera sera, whatever will be, will be..."

Of course there were a number of highlights throughout the year including:

• Visiting Neetu briefly and getting a glimpse of the reality that in the right environment research can still be fun and engaging
• Bethany visiting and reminding me what its like to live in the real world, where people have lives
• teaching science to preschoolers and elementary kids at Epworth's awesome summer camp
• our mini honeymoon/1st anniversary trip to the outer banks ( and running into kati and esther there!)
• spending the last 3 and a half months working in a healthy environment and regaining the little bit of sanity i had to start with

And of course there was my gardening and composting experiments. i did succeed in growing a few things like bush green beans, one mal-formed cucumber and a bush tomato plant that grew 6 feet tall just to try and get a little bit of sun. There was very little sun to be had around the apartment and so the radishes never bulged and i was never able to grow any broccoli. I think the lettuce died more because of the squirrels than lack of sun, but who knows really. I killed many batches of red wigglers in the process of trying to vermicompost. very sad indeed. they did MUCH better when i moved them out from underneath the sink, but in the long run I wiped the final batch out as well. plus, we don't have enough space here to keep enough worms to make it a viable composting option.

So what is there to look forward to in 2010 then? a whole lotta lotta, that's what:

• I am planning to get certified to teach highschool chemistry!
• We are probably gonna be a movin' in the near future
• I have BIG plans for gardening in a new place and rest assured i will be looking for places that actually get some sun!
• once out of academia for good, i am going to find a good and healthy balance for all aspects of my life.

Yes its a short list, but I think the items pack a big punch so that's all I really have. Here's to 2010 having no chance of sucking as bad as 2009. I really can hardly wait for all the changes to start. I may also do a better job of stopping in and blogging more often, now that I'm not in a miserable, non-bloggable situation and I've regained most of my equilibrium. YAY 2010!

i feel like butt

and i'm pretty sure that at least 90% of the fluids i've consumed in the last 2 days have made their way back out of my system through my nose.  yay.

this amused me quite a bit

a heated church debate. i'm particularly fond of the "free dog souls with conversion" part.

good job florida

this is really sad and ridiculous.  i realize we are in an economic crisis, but when the hell are people going to start realizing how many of our social and economic problems stem from our "don't give a shit" mentality to education?!?  

feeling a bit lonely today...

postdocs are in this rather odd place in both the academic system as well as the social structure of the university.  basically, there really is no social network or support system in place for us.  (I imagine that lecturers and research scientists may find themselves in similar neitherlands of the system as well.)  usually i don't think too much about this and just spend my time with the grad students.  its not always the perfect match when you are in need of empathy, but its better than nothing and usually pretty good over all.  So today, for some reason (i like to blame the dreary weather), i am feeling a bit lonely and really wanted someone to have lunch with.  as i already stated, i have no postdoc friends to call upon.  mindi is teaching all day, amy seems to be not coming in at all, and the first years are presently MIA as well.  if it were nice out, i could at least head out to the courtyard to enjoy my lunch in the sun, but alas it is wet and dreary.  so, in my office i sit, along with my (for all practical intents and purposes) mute office mate with a rather dreary bout of midday ennui.  at least i have my chicken and dumplings to keep me warm. yum.