career thoughts...

I've been thinking A LOT about career paths and family life lately. it won't come as a shock to anyone that I'm not cool with working 80hrs/week for the rest of my life, but i think that's only part of it. Most of what I hate so much about the academic life is the intense grant writing and how your future is totally dependent on how you can convince funding agencies that your work is cooler that most (in some cases 90%) of the other applicants.  I have definitely decided that I will never work at a research 1 institute and be like those i see around me everyday, but i'm also starting to have my doubts about even teaching at a 4 yr institute.  you're still expected to bring in external funds and do research, plus keep a 4-5 course/semester teaching load (new college had just a 2 course plus tutorials/ semester, but i think its pretty special in the that way).  Plus, I'm unsure about the grants that are available to 4-yr institute scholars.  i know they are different from big research grant pools, so do they cover summer research salary?  I don't know.  this is a big deal because another option I have been mulling around lately is teaching high school and then finding a lab to conduct research in over the summers.  This would let me do research without worrying about grants and junk, plus I think that there are programs in place for that sort of thing anyway.  a great way to keep high school teachers relevant and get students experience with real labs.  A recent dallying on ACS's salary comparator showed that the median salary for starting out with a phd teaching high school is actually higher than that of starting out at a 4yr college ?!?  what the heck!  its not a lot more, $4k a year or so, but more none the less.  this is why i wonder about the outside summer funding for 4yr college grants..... 

Anyway,  this new idea is now on the list with national labs (not that high anymore really), 4 yr colleges, academia outside of the US (where people still know how to have a life), and maybe even community college if i get desperate.  I do fear that I have stayed this long just because i don't want to be one of THOSE people (especially women) who give up on academia.  Now i think THOSE people may be the smart ones, but it is still hard to face.  A sad disillusionment for the girl who has been fascinated by the natural world and its study since the time she could read and was able to be out her parents' sight long enough to get her hands on anything that moved or breathed.  

and so i leave you with a not so recent, though still painful commentary on women in science and science as a career path in general.