not so yes, yes, yes

so turns out eric doesn't have the budget to pay me, so bye bye post-doc in the weeks lab. he gave me a few suggestions of others at emory that might match my research well. one is a guy who's ex-wife works in the chem-e department at tech, and is an ex because he was apparently sleeping with an undergrad student (information received at a group meeting when bart picked one of his papers to discuss and andrew said the guy was a creep and shared the story of why). needless to say, i have no interest to work for him. i don't think its a particularly good thing to go into a job already thinking your boss is a creep. there is one other physics guy at emory that i might ask, one guy at tech in chem-e, and a woman in physics at tech (my personal 1st choice) that i will probably get in touch with soon. its not looking super promising though.

i'm also torn between wanting this week to fly by so i can see tejas sooner, and wanting it to creep so i can get done all the crap i need to do before next monday when i need to turn in my written research summary to my committee. i'm pretty much in a constant state of anxiety since my parents left friday over how much i have to get done. its strange how when i have something so important coming up i get so scared about it that i freeze up and do nothing, making the whole situation even worse. I am doing lots of work now, but i still just feel like curling up in a ball on my bed and just giving up completely. really useful.